Bringing Maggie’s Body Home

Maggie was a beautiful blue eyed calico “barn cat” two weeks shy of her 16th birthday. After several months of decline, losing weight and not eating, I made the tough decision to have her euthanized. Per the vet there was nothing physically wrong, we tried subcutaneous fluids which helped a bit but her body was wearing out and it was just her time to die.

She was sleeping so much the last few weeks of her life that I hoped to wake one morning and find she had died peacefully during the night. But suddenly she took a turn for the worse and became restless with a change in breathing. I could not allow her to suffer. 

I am very familiar with death and dying and have gone through the process with many beloved pets and people. But this was the first death I experienced since becoming an end of life doula and learning about home funerals and after death care. 

I was present for Maggie in her final moments. Gently stroking her frail little body, telling her what a wonderful cat she was, how much joy she brought to my life and how honored I was to take care of her. As the vet delivered the medication that put her into a deep sleep, I was sobbing and simultaneously comforting her, wetting her fur with tears. Then the medication was given that stopped her heart and ended her suffering.

I brought Maggie’s body home and laid her on my bed - our bed. She looked so natural laying there as she always did, softly curled up on a blanket. She had the appearance of sleeping. My dog Pal, normally hyperactive and playful, hopped on the bed, sniffed Maggie and laid his head next to hers for the longest time. He understood she was no longer alive.

Maggie was as beautiful in death as she was in life. Pal checked on her several times over the next few hours as did I. It was comforting for me to have Maggie with us at home. I was able to pet her soft furry body and witness how she was finally at peace. Then I took her body to my ex-husband’s for the burial.

Bart dug a space near the end of his vegetable garden, not far from his bee hive and a thicket plentiful with rabbits and birds. It was a simple grave, made lovingly with pine boughs cradling Maggie’s little body and sprigs of Forsythia. She looked so peaceful and regal in her final resting place. The grass was green with snow flakes falling as we silently observed the beauty of the moment. Then we said a few final words and covered her with soil.

This experience of taking the time and having Maggie’s body at home definitely helped with the grieving process. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in my doula training is to slow down when someone dies, even if it is a pet. 

Take a moment to witness death. Honor the passing of a beloved pet by caring for the body of the animal that brought so much joy and comfort during life. Don’t rush through it. In our current culture we are so out of touch with death and dying that we have allowed it to be “whisked out of sight”; as if making the body disappear fast will somehow lesson the pain and grief of the loss. 

I believe the opposite is true. Spending time with the body of a deceased loved one or a deceased pet gives us closure and helps us better process our grief. I was glad I made the decision to bring Maggie’s body home. To see her lying on our bed helped my mind recognize that not only was she not alive anymore, her body looked pleasantly relaxed and she was no longer suffering. It is a memory I will treasure.

I understand why it is so important that we become more comfortable with death; it lessens the fear. Witnessing the beauty of Maggie’s home funeral will play a part in future decisions for my other beloved pets. It also confirms the plan I have for the disposition of my own body when I die.

There are many great books, websites and podcasts on home funerals and caring for the dead. All the different ways we can honor them while also helping ourselves grieve through the process. Not everyone will be comfortable with these ideas and that is okay. But knowledge is power. If we don’t know what is possible we may miss an opportunity to become comfortable in our own way with death and dying. 

Listen to the podcast “A Path Home” for stories on home funerals.

The nationalhomefuneralalliance.org. is also a great resource.

I recommend this book: “Reimagining Death” - Stories and Practical Wisdom for Home Funerals and Green Burials by Lucinda Herring. 

For many of us death of our loved ones includes our furry friends. Pets are family members too. If you have questions or need help going through the end of life with process with a loved one or a cherished pet, please contact me. I am here for you. 

Rest in Peace Maggie, you will be forever in our hearts. 5/12/06 to 4/26/22

Blessings,

Shelley

Maggie’s burial 4.26.22